January third.

I f*cking suck.

I don't know why this blog, that was once something I was so passionate about and focused on, has fallen by the way-side. 

I'm busy, but I'm not that busy. 

I think about writing on this blog quite often, but it seems my focus always get pulled to something else. I've gotten to be so unproductive toward the end of 2017. 

I think its cliché to say the whole "new year new... " bull crap. However, I'm a firm believer in new years resolutions. Not the typical ones like eat healthy, exercise more, etc. For me, every year I have always set a list of ten new ideas or philosophies to try and adopt into my life for the new year and all the years to come. 

For my first (and hopefully not my only haha) post of 2018, I thought I would share my resolutions for this coming year. 

1. Make every decision consciously 
Whether it's what to eat, what to say, what to wear, or what to do, I want to make every decision with purpose. 

2. Find a way to be fit and active that works for me and I enjoy doing
I don't like going to the gym and I don't like doing intense, sweaty workouts. I know I enjoy walking, running, and yoga so going into the new year I will stop trying to jump on the gym life bandwagon and adopt a fitness routine that I will stick to and enjoy. 

3. Make time for the things that I love
This blog. Reading. Writing. Scrapbooking. I have a lot more time than I think I do and instead of wasting it I would love to use it to do the things I really enjoy doing. 

4. Give more compliments and say thank you more 
I find myself thinking things like "oh that's a cute top" "I love her nails" "her hair looks amazing" but I never have the courage to actually give the compliment. I think positivity is something that's seriously lacking in this world and if I can spread positivity in any way I would like to. I would also like to make an effort to say thank you more often. I want the people in my life to know I appreciate them and am grateful for the presence they have in my life. 

5. Stop apologizing for things I'm not really sorry for
I will no longer apologize for laughing too loudly or eating too much or missing things I didn't want to go to in the first place. First of all the apologies are insincere and second I don't need to apologize for who I am, because I actually like who I am and I don't want to feel shameful about myself any more. 

6. Make more time for God every single day
I always talk to God while I'm showering and driving alone but I surf social media every night before bed when I could be reading through my Bible study app. I want to change that.

7. Take more pictures
I love photography and I want to make an effort to not only photograph new and beautiful things but also the simple and mundane things in life. 

8. Strengthen the relationships I have and build new, intimate ones
I'm quite guarded as a person and throughout 2017 I worked on opening up. I feel like I can be more honest about myself and vulnerable. It's easier for me to let people in now so I would like to get to know them all on a deeper level. 

9. Learn to control my emotions
I feel everything very deeply which can lead to me being overly emotional. I would like to learn through this year to take a step back, internalize, and respond instead of reacting. I can still feel everything deeply- happiness, sadness, anger, disappointment- but I'd like to learn to control how I express what I'm feeling. 

10. Make an effort to wake up every morning and choose happiness 
I want to make a conscious effort to open my eyes and thank God that I am alive and so blessed. I want to smile more, laugh more, complain less, see goodness in everything, and enjoy every moment. I've been through so much in my life that it's become my nature to be negative because it feels like the worst case scenario has always happened. I don't want to live that way anymore. I am in an amazing place, surrounded by people who love me and I'd like to choose happiness so I can fully appreciate how amazing my life is and can be. 

I feel like every year I'm able to learn new things and improve on myself, so every year always gets better. I'm excited for 2018 to be the best year of my life yet! I hope you all are successful with your resolutions and that 2018 blesses you beyond measure. If you want to share your resolutions for this coming year, I'd love to read them.